Womb

Paige and I had lunch with my mother today.  A somewhat rare treat since mom works full time.  Today, she took the day off to go to the doctor, so we were lucky enough to get to see her at lunch.

During the visit, Paige crawled up in my mother's lap and went limp while her back was stroked.  She was in heaven.  My mother just has A Way.  A womb-like way about her.

My goodness, it was everything I could do not to run over there, shove Paige off her lap and crawl up there my ownself. 

I suppose I need to grow up, don't I?

Maple Murder

We have a maple tree nearby.  The kind that releases little auto rotating seedlings that float like so many helicopter blades toward the ground.  My kids (like all kids, I assume) are fascinated with these little flying wonders.  They toss them in the air and watch them circle back to the earth.

Lately, William has been asking about the seeds.  He wants to know if they will indeed grow into tall maple trees someday.  I informed him that, no, sadly most of these seeds would simply blow away, or be eaten by the geese or the squirrels.  And many would simply sprout, then be unceremoniously mowed over the next time the lawn crew showed up.

This news distressed William.  He acted as if this great tree was standing by watching all of its little babies be eaten, or even worse, decapitated.  The horror!

So today, when I noticed little plastic pots for sale at Target (2 for $1), I bought them and brought them home for William.  Then, this evening, he carefully chose 9 seedlings to "save" from Death by Squirrel and/or Mower.

Lordy, I hope they grow, or William is going to be crushed. 

In fact, does anyone know where I can buy a few maple saplings?  You know, just in case.

Reality Check

.

William:  Momma, do I have to get married right when I grow up?

Me:  No.  You get married when you find the right girl.

William:  So, when I grow up, can I just leave this house and take my video games with me and live by myself?

Me: Well, first you'll go to college, and then you get a job and then you live by yourself.

William: I don't want to go to college, I'd just like to live by myself with my video games.

Me: Well, I suppose you don't have to go to college, but you'll need to find a job so that you can earn money to pay for your house and your food.

William: Well, can't you just give me some money?

Me:  Nope.  Once you're a grownup, I won't give you any more money.  You'll have to work and earn your own money.  That's how it works.

William: ???

Me: Tell you what, if you promise to go to college, I'll let you take your video games with you.

William:  Deal.

Wowee Maui

I'm home!  Back from a week in Maui.  A week during which I dealt with more vomit and diarrhea than I care to discuss.

Not that I won't.

But before I share the funny (now) tales of bodily malfunctions, I feel the need to tell you how great the trip was.  My in-laws treated our entire family to a week in Maui for heaven's sake, and complaining about a stomach bug feels like complaining about a squeak in the BMW they just bought me.  I stayed in a condominium nicer (much nicer) than my own home.  I ate meals fit for kings. 

Heck, I read AN ENTIRE BOOK. 

The trip was good, is what I'm trying to say.  It was really good. 

And not only was it good, but this trip, more than any other, made me realize how rare and lucky it is to be in a family that gets along.  Ten of us stayed in a 3 bedroom condo for a week with no fights.  No issues.  No friction.  We enjoy each other's company.  All of the children are well-behaved.  Well parented. 

It's not that we don't have issues.  I mean, these people are crazy.  But they're my kind of crazy.  And I like them.

There.  Now let's discuss vomit, shall we?

Paige got a nasty stomach bug the Thursday before we left.  Our flight departed on Sunday, so I was relieved when Paige was feeling completely better by Saturday. 

Except, apparently she WASN'T better.

Four hours into our 7 hour flight, Paige started complaining of stomach pain.  Uh oh.  I scooped her up and took her to the bathroom.  Nothing.  So I brought her back to my seat and held her.  While I was clutching her to my chest she decided to hurl up everything she'd eaten since, oh, she was born.

I raced back to the bathroom in time to see that it was ON MY FACE, running down my neck, into my shirt and pooling IN MY BRA CUPS.

I was wearing a cardigan, and two layered tank tops.  The bottom tank top was the white, ribbed variety. Wife-beater style.  I stripped Paige nekkid and removed everything but my wife-beater.  Including my bra.

Essentially, I was stuck in the airplane bathroom with a naked baby and what amounted to a wet t-shirt contest.  I briefly considered riding out the remaining 3 hours in the bathroom.

Just as I poked my head out (looking for Dave, or perhaps an angel from heaven), my sister in law appeared.  I looked at her and said "give me your sweater". 

And she did!  I'm not even sure she knew that Paige had thrown up.  I must have looked really desperate because she never questioned me.

When we got back to our seat Dave had managed to clean up the seat, and someone suggested that perhaps Paige was suffering from motion sickness.  Yes! That was it!  And I had children's Dramamine!

A half hour later Paige was fine.

And we all lived happily ever after.

Until Tuesday. When 3 others (including me) got the stomach bug.  And then William got it on Thursday. 

But hey! Now I know that a sand pail can double as a barf bag!  That is valuable knowledge, people.  And?  I also know how to say 'vomit' in Hawaiian. 

It's Lua'i, in case you were wondering.

A Brand New Day

I woke at 5am STARVING.  And fever free!

It's a Maui Miracle!

Today was glorious.  Hours and hours at the beach and beside the pool.  We rented paddle boards in the ocean, we napped in chaise lounges beside the pool.  It was heaven.

And tonight?  A three-course sunset dinner.  Al fresco.

And hey! I might even keep the entire meal down!  Bonus.

Hangin' Loose (Bowels)

We made it to Hawaii!

Which would be great, except for the stomach bug that has managed to infect every single female in our group.  In this instance, we *are* the weaker sex.

On the bright side, I've never vomited in such a beautiful place.

That's something, right?

Lesson Learned

1 Boy's Eye + 1 Rolled up Poster (Like a Telescope) + Another kid's back = OUCH!

Sometimes, lessons must be learned the hard way.

And sometimes, those lessons leave a mark.