Convalescing Isn't All Bad

We stayed home today. Allllllll day. At home.

Which was good. Paige needed her rest. She didn't get any rest. But she sure needed it. People, this baby napped for just over an hour. Once. All day.

Apparently, yesterday Paige was surgically modified. She's now the Energizer Bunny. A cranky version of the Energizer Bunny.

So, by the end of the day, I was needing some contact with other humans. Other humans over the age of 5, that is.

Ahhhhhh, enter Susan:

Susan is my dear dear friend from Tulsa. I don't get to see her face nearly enough. And the fact that I saw her today, of all days, was just medicine for my soul.

We talked about clothes. And shoes. And handbags. Nothing deep. Nothing important.

It was perfect.

Paige didn't mind a little lovin' from SuSu either.
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This baby got lots of love today. Even love from her brother. A rare treat.


This is a shot of William sharing his dessert with Paige. Wha?!? Sharing? DESSERT?
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I think I overheard Paige on the phone with Dr. Digoy trying to schedule another procedure.

A Special Morning Gross-Post

Hidee-ho and good morning! Have you had your coffee yet this morning? And breakfast? Yes?

Oh goodie. Let's see if I can make you lose that breakfast...

Let's talk about surgery. NO! Let's not just talk about surgery. Let's look at some really disgusting pictures of surgery. Yes! That will be so fun!

Now, for those of you who are queasy (ahem, Aunt Susie), here's a nice picture of a flower:

Isn't that nice? Also, you could go here and look at a picture of a kitten. Do that if you're a bit squeamish. But whatever you do, DON'T scroll down.

Heh, made ya scroll, didn't I?

It's alright, here's a nice picture of Dr. Digoy. He sliced open my child's throat yesterday. Doesn't he look nice? And capable?

Also, he speaks with a lovely Spanish accent. And he's handsome. Oh wait, that's not really important, is it?

Ok, here's where it gets yucky. Don't say I didn't warn you!

This is Paigey Beth's airway:

That's a before picture. Turns out, Paige had a bit too much cartilage on her larynx (voice box). This cartilage would collapse while she was sleeping, causing her to gasp in her sleep.

So, Dr. Digoy just lopped off that pesky extra cartilage.

Here's the offending cartilage.

Don't you just want to bread it up and put it in the frying pan?

Oh man. I went too far, didn't I? Sorry.

Moving right along....

Here's an after picture:

See how the airway seems more open? This should make things all better in the long run.

In the short run, however, Paige will be a bit sore. Her throat hurts! And eating makes her cough and sputter.

And we all know how much Paige likes to eat. Have you seen her thighs? This gal does NOT like to miss a meal.

Oh, and here's another side effect:

MegaDrooling. Apparently, sister will swallow food, but slobber is just not worth the pain.

Can't say that I blame her.

A Guest Post

Hi. I'm Paige Elizabeth. I'm writing mom's post tonight. Mom says she's too exhausted.

I had surgery today. Did you know? Oh, you did? Was it because my mommy spoke to you about it? Frequently? Oh, that much? Well, it's over now. I'm sure you're glad.

First, mom woke me up at 5:30am. She didn't dress me in a cute outfit. Not even a bow in my hair! The horror! Instead, we left the house in the dark, wearing pajamas. AND she forgot to feed me.

We arrived at the hospital, and we waited. We waited for THREE hours.

I didn't really mind waiting. As I was given daddy's undivided attention. And I was held and snuggled for 3 solid hours.

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Folks, it was very hard for me to be so chipper. Because, did I mention I was hungry? I did? Well, I was.

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Problem was, Daddy was hungry too. And daddy gets very cranky and cross when he's hungry. Good thing momma smuggled in a granola bar.

After 2 hours, things started getting really GOOD!

First, I got new shoes!

What girl doesn't love new shoes?

Oh, and THEN, I got JEWELRY!

Hellloooo? Can anyone say awesome?

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And lookie here! Momma got a Whole New Outfit:

Mom wasn't nearly as happy about her new stuff as I was.

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Then things got a little fuzzy. I might have dozed off for a bit.

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When I woke up, I hate to admit it, but I was a teeny tiny bit cranky.

Where did all these wires come from? What's with that IV in my little foot?

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Ah, but then the nurse gave me juice. Apple juice. Nectar of the Gods. All was forgotten. All was forgiven. Hallelujah. Juice.

Here I am getting my IV removed.

I didn't even cry! I am so brave.

Everyone tells me so.

Can Worry Affect Your Words-Per-Minute?

Well folks, I've got nothin'. Nada. Zilch.

Not a thing to write about.

Oh, things happened today. Things I could write about.

But I can't. I'm worried. Worried about the procedure for Paige in the morning. The one where she will be under anesthesia. And apparently, worry makes me unable to tell stories.

Or type. Or think.

All I can do is sit here and wonder if we're making the right decision. If this is the right course of action.

Please God let her be OK. Please please please.

Have I mentioned how much I adore this baby girl? Yes? Well I do. And you would too if you met her. She's irresistible.

For example, here's a shot of her today:


She's running toward the fountain at the mall yelling BATH! BATH! BATH!

See what I mean? Adorable.

Please God. Let her be OK.

I Swear I Heard Banjos

We got lost in the woods today. LOST! IN! THE! WOODS!

I blame my husband.

He blames the GPS.

He accidentally pushed One Wrong Button. This particular button was the do-you-mind-if-we- take-an-unpaved-road-to-save-a-whole-bunch-of-time button.

And he made a turn. Onto a gravel road. And by the time we realized we were on a very long, extremely narrow gravel road, we were at a point where we couldn't turn around. We were pulling the boat.

The GPS indicated we'd be turning in 2.2 miles. We thought "how bad can it be?". So we drove on.
This is what awaited us at the end of the 2.2 miles:

MORE narrow gravel road.

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We finally met up with the pavement EIGHTEEN MILES LATER.

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About 4 miles in, I casually checked my iPhone. No service.

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Then, up ahead we spied a STREAM trickling across the road. We crossed it. Did I mention we were pulling the boat? On a trailer?

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About 6 miles into our journey, I began to mentally assess our staples:

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We have 1/4 tank of gas. What if we run out? Can we siphon gas from the boat?

Then I asked Dave if we have some sort of hose. He looks at me like I have corn growing out my ears, so I stopped talking and resumed biting my nails and SILENTLY assessing our staples.

Do I have enough water and milk to sustain us in the event we're stranded?

Are there bears in these woods?

Then I looked down and realized I'd taken up nail-biting again.

Then I heard the theme song from Deliverance.

I swear I heard it. Banjos playing. The whole deal. I swear!

I look over at Dave to see how he's doing, and here's what he says to me:

"My boat is getting so dirty".

It Rained

Today it rained. A. Lot.

We started our day at 4:45am. That's when I heard the thunder. I literally JUMPED and RAN out of bed. But, Dave was already gone. Out into the storm.

He'd gone to save his boat. It was anchored a short distance off shore. This is not good during a storm. The wind and waves can dislodge the anchor and make the boat crash into the rocky shore.

I called thinking he'd answer, but the storm was fooling with our cell connection.

So instead I paced. And wrung my hands. And imagined my husband standing in WATER. During a violent LIGHTENING STORM.

I also thought about increasing his life insurance.

Then I thought about placing an ad on Craig's List for a nice boat. And maybe even a nice husband.

By the time he returned, it was 5:30am. By this time, William had crawled in our bed. He was afraid of the "funder". I'd just drifted back to sleep when Dave woke me at 6:45am. TO GET READY TO SKI.

I'll let you sit and digest that for a minute. I know your jaw has dropped and you need time to recover.

Better? Ok, let's continue.

So, first I grumbled. Then I gave myself a big talkin'-to about being a Good Wife and a Good Sport. Then I set about dressing the children and getting their breakfast ready. I'd just put on my own swimsuit when Dave announced that another storm cell was threatening. So NEVER MIND.

So there we sat. At 7am. All dressed up and nowhere to ski. Yep.

Tomorrow, Dave promises to check the weather radar before waking me and the children. Smart man.

And storm it did, folks. Until 2pm.

So, we invited everyone to our place.

Here's whole family gathered at our cabin waiting out the rain.

Don't' they look bored? Well, they were.

Some read books.

Some did arts and crafts.

This is brother Bradley and his girlfriend Laura. We like her. And not just because she does arts and crafts with our children.

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Some of us sat on the floor and watched the lasagna so it wouldn't burn.

We're serious about our food around here.
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Others were bopped continuously on grandpa's lap.

To Paige, this sort of thing never gets old.

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I wouldn't be surprised if grandpa is a bit sore in the morning.

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These rainy days are tough on the muscles.

Truer Words Have Never Been...

Spoken.

Er, uh, etched in wood.

MY road. That is - the road of my marriage - may indeed END in water.

Oh just kidding.

Just look at this man:

Can't you just feel the happiness radiating off his back? Just outside the frame of this photo is his boat. Floating there in the water. Can't you just imagine the contented look on his face?

Nothing in the world makes him happier than this. Family. Lake. Boat. Skiing. I know he's hoping there's a lake in heaven. If not, I don't think he's interested in going.

And since he loves the lake. And skiing. And I love him. Ever so much. I was determined to learn to slalom ski yesterday.

For you non-lake types, slalom means 'Ski on ONE ski, rather than two'. Because, why in the world would you want to use TWO skis? That makes WAY too much sense. No, let's try to balance a 35 year old, out-of-shape, slightly overweight, woman on just ONE ski. THAT's what will be fun. Yes!

So, I started my training by doing this:

See that little cut up there on my forehead? I did that jumping enthusiastically into the lake whilst wearing my sunglasses. The sunglasses didn't like that kind of treatment. So the nose pieces decided to take two lovely gouges out of my head. I look like I wrestled an angry kitten.

And the kitty won.

Then here's me skiing. Indeed, I'm skiing. But I'm not really very happy about it.

I'm not going to tell you what I was saying when this picture was taken. I will tell you the comments were directed at Dave. You can probably guess what I was uttering. Something sweet, I'm sure.

And here's me and my sister-in-law, Amy.

I believe I'm saying things like Why does he have to love skiing? Why not backgammon? Or golf? Or knitting? Why? Why water skiing?

I guess she thought I was joking.