You Cannot Defeat a Princess

Can you and I still be friends if I admit to you that I hate princesses.  All things princess?  All of it?  Will you still love me if I say that little girl princess movies make me want to vomit and spit and scream?

I know.  I'm a monster.

Because what's the harm, right?  It's just a movie!  Little girls don't really understand the overall theme is weakness and that the message is: be pretty enough and the man will come rescue you!  I know!  I realize on some base level we women would all love a knight in shining armor - even IF we can rescue ourselves, there IS something about a strong man on a horse arriving in the nick of time that really DOES make all of us weak in the knees.  I KNOW THIS.

And yet I hate princesses all the same.

Oh don't worry.  We own a couple of princess movies.  Paige loves Snow White (wherein the queen has the princess killed because she's PRETTIER, and lo! a prince comes along and saves her AND THEY GET MARRIED after having spoken just once! But I'm not bitter AT ALL! NO! LIGHTEN UP RITA OMG!).  We also have a hand-me-down (Hammydown!) copy of Beauty and the Beast which Paige has watched a handful of times.  And she liked it very much.  Mainly because of the singing. 

What I'm trying to tell you is: I realize I'm am excessively bitter and ridiculous about princesses and therefore do not try to actively repress my daughter's inner princess (even though even TYPING the words 'inner princess' make me want to poke out my eye with a dull pencil).  Paige also owns several princess dresses which she regularly wears while running around outside pelting her brother with a light saber.  Because Paige desires to look pretty WHILE dominating her brother. 

I tell you all of this so that you will understand my, uh, dismay, when I arrived home from book club this morning to find that my husband had snuck away taken Paige to the store to buy her a new bicycle.  And I should go ahead and tell you that my husband is the cliche' father-to-a-daughter.  He is completely and totally wrapped around her finger.  I will regularly catch her say, eating candy at 7am, and when I question Dave about it he will simply say "but she wanted it".  As if he is unable to refuse her every whim.  It is both maddening and completely adorable.  Although I do not wish to think about what this will mean for her teenage years ("But DADDY said I could go to Aruba for spring break!"). 

So the bike.  To hear Dave tell it, "she had her heart set on this one".  "This one" being The Bike Where Princesses Go to Die.  There are no sparkles, hearts, or glitters left in the entire earth BECAUSE THEY ALL RESIDE ON THIS BIKE.  The pedals? ARE IN THE SHAPE OF FLOWERS.  The wheels are in the shape of hearts.  Handlebars? Hearts.  Pink ones.  And then there are numerous princess heads adorning the chain guard, seat, and THE PURSE ATTACHED TO THE FRONT (Yes, you heard me, the bike came with a purse). There are also sparkly streamers dangling from the handlebars.

In other words, it's the girliest princess-y-est bike ever made.  If a boy even stands NEAR this bike his, ahem, boy parts will simply drop off and fall to the ground. 

behold the cycling travesty

I stood staring at it in amazement (What a feat of engineering! How DID they cram all those princesses on ONE bike?).  But it was hard to deny that Paige was thrilled.  And Dave was thrilled. 

So of course I am thrilled as well.

Or at least I was.  Until I saw THIS.

yes.  it says "glitter and glow'

OMGAAAAH, really? GLITTER AND GLOW?  I think I need to lie down.

I Did Not Plan This Post

So, hey, it just so happens that it's Friday night and I want to write about the television series Friday Night Lights.  And would you believe me if I told you I did this on accident?  I did not MEAN to write about this on Friday night.  No seriously!

Look, we all know my blog posts are off the cuff.  Sometimes I sit down to write and my fingers lead me in an entirely different direction than my brain thought we were going.  My fingers are the boss of me!  Or at least of this blog.

No where was I? Oh. Right.  Friday Night Lights.  It turns out that I resemble one of the leading ladies on the show.  Or at least that's what I'm told.  First Shannon mentioned it, then while I was standing in line for the restroom last evening with a slew of women (why are there always lines at the ladies room? WHY?) and these women all began remarking that I look like some gal from Friday Night Lights.

But I wouldn't know, because I have never one time watched the show.  Not because I am above becoming immersed in a television series, but I suppose I just haven't made the time for this particular series. Which is sad, because apparently my doppelganger has been starring in the show for years.

Out of curiosity I Googled "Friday Night Lights Cast Members" and after perusing IMDB, I am assuming everyone is referring to Connie Britton.  She has reddish, longish hair like mine.  And also some pretty serious forehead wrinkles - IT'S AS IF WE WERE SEPARATED AT BIRTH. 

See for yourself:

can  you tell which one is me and which one is my twin sister connie?

Well, ok, except for the part where she is shorter and much thinner than me.  Clearly I was the "beefy twin", while she was the "weak, failure-to-thrive" twin.  Bless her.  I'm so glad she survived those weeks in the NICU and went on to be a famous actress, while her bulkier twin stayed back in Oklahoma to raise a family and write senseless drivel on the Internet on a Friday night about Friday Night Lights.

Again, I swear to you this was an accident.

Now.  Do you have a famous twin acting in Hollywood?  Really?  Who?  Do tell.

Connected

Back when my daddy was alive, we would meet every week for lunch.  We had a designated day (Wednesday) and time (11:30a "to beat the crowds"), which meant that we never really had to speak between lunch dates.  Now, I would occasionally call if I had news to report or questions to ask that couldn't possibly wait until our next lunch, but mostly we would save up our news for our 90 minute face-to-face each week.

This whole weekly lunch thing was dad's idea.  I don't think he really liked talking on the phone, plus he liked the structure - knowing he'd be able to hug my neck every single week - and he liked that he didn't have to remember to plan/set up our meetings.  And frankly, I liked it too.  Everyone at my office knew not to schedule lunch meetings on Wednesdays because I was guaranteed to be gone.

My dad did this same setup with my Aunt Susie (his big sister).  Their designated day was Friday.  Same thing.  11:30am to beat the crowds. 

My weekly lunch dates with dad went on for something like 8 years.  The week he died, I saw him for our regularly scheduled Wednesday lunch, and he was gone the following Friday morning.  I have always loved that I saw him that Wednesday.  In fact, I got all sentimental at that final lunch and thanked him for everything he'd done for me (as if I'd somehow KNOWN this was my last chance to talk to him alive).

Two weeks after he died, I called my Aunt Susie and told her WE should start doing weekly lunches.  That was in 2005.  We're still meeting every week.  Every Monday you will find us at a restaurant halfway between her office and my home.  We rarely talk in-between.  We save up our news for Monday.

So this past Monday night, my brother called out of the blue and asked if I could meet him for a cocktail.  Dave put the kids to bed while I dashed off to spend the evening with Russ.  We sat on a bar stool and visited for two hours.  And at the end of the evening, Russ said "we should do this every Monday night!"

yes. i know my brother is very handsome. and single!

And of course I agreed.  Because in my family, it seems a weekly scheduled date is the way we stay connected.  

Do you do this?  Weekly pre-planned meetings or phone calls? How do you keep in touch with your loved ones? 

Melting!

Oh my goodness, Internet.  I really wish you could come over here and spend some time with my children.  They are going through the SWEETEST SWEETEST SWEETEST phase right now.  And I realize you just vomited right there on your keyboard, because REALLY?

Yes, really. 

For instance, the last several times I've taken William with me to the grocery store he has INSISTED on carrying ALL of the grocery bags to the car for me.  Why? Because his father told him that Boy Scouts must perform acts of service and kindness.  And William took this to mean that his mother can no longer carry her own groceries.

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OMG could you just DIE at the cuteness?  I mean just LOOK at him lugging those bags!  Look at the circumference of his wee little 7 year old arms!  They are THINNER THAN BROOM HANDLES, and yet he HEAVES those bags to the car.

I can't stand it.  My heart! Melting!

And then Paige is just your typical 3 year old - always saying cute things and randomly demanding kisses while exclaiming that I am "the very best mommy in the whole wide Earth". 

Three is my favorite age.  Oh how I will mourn when she turns four.

Today she ran inside and presented me with a single bloom from a Bradford Pear tree.  She insisted I put it in water (which I did because how could I not?).  Then she ran back outside to "find mommy another beautiful flower".

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And I am going to do my very best to remember all of this sweetness tomorrow when we're running late for school and NO ONE CAN FIND THEIR SHOES (why does this happen every time we leave the house? WHYYYYY?).

In Case of Emergency

For all you new parents out there, I would like to present the following to you.  Both to inform and also to warn.

You see, someday you will be driving around in a car that is Sensible and Safe.  It will be littered with snot-filled tissues, dessicated cheerios and sticky Mystery Puddles.  You will occasionally shake your head and wonder how you have come to live like this. 

But it will get worse before it gets better. 

Because some day soon you will also pat yourself on the back for being brilliant enough to drive around with A TOILET IN YOUR CAR. 

yes. you heard me. a potty.  in the car.

You will actually FEEL SMUG when your children, 4 seconds after arriving at a park without restroom facilities, beg to use the potty.  You will feel smug, because you will simply open your hatch back and let them befoul your very vehicle. 

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I know you think I'm lying.  But it's the truth.

You will consider yourself a Mothering Genius when you simply line the toilet with 1) a mini trash bag so that you can dispose of the, er, specimen.  Then you will use your 2) wipes, followed by a quick 3) hand cleaning.  You will even travel with a spare pair of 4) tiny panties because you just never know.

Consider yourself warned.

ps. You may also find yourself trying to use this potty (which is roughly the diameter of a salad plate) on an extended road trip.  You will rationalize that it is better than squatting on the side of the road.  That is your story and you're sticking to it. *ahem*

We Should Work for the Chamber of Commerce!

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Cousin Jenny and her husband Scott came to visit this weekend.  Until Friday, we've always socialized at various family events which means they've never actually been to our home.  In fact, they'd never been to Oklahoma City before.

Oh, and I should mention Jenny and Scott are 1) YOUNG and 2) from AUSTIN by way of SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. 

So, um, Dave and I were a bit worried that our little city would do nothing but disappoint them.  I mean, it *is* Oklahoma, after all. How can we possibly compare to a hip town like Austin, much less SoCal.  Yeesh! 

But I ended up being so proud of our little city.  Things are really changing around here, and we're starting to shine!

Last week I polled my trusty Twitter council and managed to put together a weekend full of (what we hope were) fantastic Oklahoma City attractions.  I must say, it helped that Scott is an architect and therefore appreciated some of the new construction going on in OKC.

Here's what we crammed into a 2 day trip:

1) Tour of downtown followed by bowling at trendy Red Pin in Bricktown.
2) Dinner at Cheevers
3) Dessert at Nonna's Purple Bar downtown.
4) Breakfast at home (where Scott finally showed us how to make pancakes properly).
5) Architectural tour of the Chesapeake campus.
6) Lunch at Cafe 501
7) Shopping Classen Curve.
8) Dessert at Green Goodies (mmmmm, cupcakes and coffee!).
9) Dinner at home (steaks on the grill with the neighbors)
10) Sunday breakfast at Pops in Arcadia

We're sad we  missed the Chihuly exhibit at the Oklahoma Museum of Art, but we didn't want to drag the children through the museum.

What did we miss?  Any suggestions for next time?


p.s.
William introduced Jenny to Angry Birds.  I'm certain she'll never be the same.

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Sudafed + Champane = Smart!

designers throw the best parties

So, I had a nasty cold over the weekend.  And yet I managed to rally in time to attend Rachel's Oscar party.  Because everyone knows 3 glasses of champagne mix SO WELL with cold medicine.

*ahem*

The party was SO MUCH FUN. 

I took tons of photos, all of which fail to show the magnificence of the decorations and guests.  Instead, head over to Rachel's site.  Prepare to ooooh and aaaaahh.