The (Play)Dating Scene

My brother is single.  Has been for 35 years.  Occasionally we'll be talking and he'll mention something about dating and then he'll say "you know how it is".And my response is always "Um, no.  No I do not".  Because I went on my first date with my husband EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO.

EIGHTEEN YEARS!  I think I just broke a hip TYPING THAT!

Anywhoo.  I realized today that, as far as boyfriend/girlfriend dating goes, I am indeed oblivious.  But in the mommy world, there is another (although not altogether different) kind of dating.

Playdating.

And I'm pretty good at playdating.  Why?  Because I've been "on the market" for seven years.  I can ask someone out with nary a nervous jitter.  I can hang with a new mom and her kids no problem.  I'm an old pro at 'first dates'.

Which is why today was a bit painful.

It all started two weeks ago at the park.  My husband and I had taken the children to the playground after dinner and by and by we struck up a conversation with a charming couple.  As we were chatting, their daughter (barely four) run up saying she'd asked Paige (my kid) over to spend the night "and she said YES!".

Which is adorable.  And also, NO.  Because, HELLO child you are FOUR and also you just met this (perhaps nice, but only THREE YEAR OLD) kid.

So the mother and I (after patting their heads and letting them down gently) exchanged phone numbers and promised both girls we would meet soon for a playdate.

Fast forward to today. We (me, William, Paige, The Other Mom, her daughter, her two year old boy) met at the zoo.

The first rattle out of the box she was late.  Not terribly (like 5 minutes), but she (very kindly) texted to say they were ALMOST THERE!  When she approached I could tell she was flustered.  Why? Because she'd just gotten a two and four-year-old out the door and to the zoo by 9:30am - WITH packed lunches, snacks, and sippy cups.  AND she was pushing a double stroller.

Meanwhile, I was standing there with a dollar in my pocket for a bottle of water and a bag of dried cherries.  No stroller.  No lunches.  Nothing.  Why? BECAUSE MY KIDS ARE OLD. 

Then her children (including her precious daughter who was the PICTURE of DELIGHTFUL at the park two weeks ago) proceeded to act terribly the entire day.  There were fits.  There was crying.  There was disrespect and unreasonable demands.  And there were more tantrums.  And then?  Her two year old ran away and/or tried to climb every fence we encountered.

God bless this poor mother, she was mortified.

And of course, OF COURSE my children were perfect.  Like, they never -  NEVER ONCE - forgot their manners.  They stayed right beside me.  They were calm and respectful.  They all but had halos and little harps.

And it was KILLING ME.  I kept WILLING one of them to be an asshole just so this mother would see that MY kids can be bad too!  Because they totally can be!  I swear!  I do not know who these robot pod-children ARE.

Here's the thing:  This mother handled each and every episode with her children with grace.  She never once lost her patience.  She corrected them each and every time they were naughty.  She disciplined perfectly.  Truly.  Perfectly.

At one point I put my arm around her and told her my kids have bad days too, but I don't think she believed me.  (Stupid angel children with their harps!)

I cannot TELL you how happy I was when Paige cried and stomped her feet when we had to leave.

As we were walking away, this mother said "I really hope you'll give us another chance!".

Bless her.  We totally will.

The dating scene can be so rough.

Bipolar Fashion

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So here's me today:

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If I know you in real life, chances are you've seen me wear this outfit A LOT this summer.  I lived in my maxi skirt.  It's made of super soft cotton t-shirt material, and it has a yoga pant-style waist (that folds over).

In other words, it's like wearing pajamas. 

Sadly, it's 90 degrees in Oklahoma today.  NINETY.  Which means I'm back to wearing my Summer standby outfit.

So much for "fall" fashion.

And speaking of fashion. Do you have a "signature style"?  Because this "Blog Your Fall Fashion" thing has made me realize that I do NOT.

I have never felt that I have much "fashion sense".  Or maybe it's just that I don't really feel like I have a "style".  I see girls like Emery (who can spend $5 at a thrift store and look AMAZING), and women like my friend Susan (who looks like she stepped straight off the pages of J. Crew every. single. day) and I often feel jealous that they've developed a personal style.  I can walk through a store any day of the week and see things and think "now *that* looks like Emery". 

I guarantee no one ever says that about ME.

With me, it's like I've got Fashion Bipolar Disorder.  One day I'm all preppy with my button-down shirt tucked in.  The next I'm all bohemian in a maxi-skirt and sandals.  I really *wish* I could pick a certain style, but the problem is, I LIKE THEM ALL!  I want to wear them all!

Which means my closet looks like a crazy person lives here.

Huh. Now that I think about it, maybe my closet is right.

The Walmarts

So, um, two of the five items I'm wearing today came from Walmart.

What does that say about me?

Wait.  Don't answer that.

The sweater is (old) from The Limited.

Keepin' it Real

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I'm wearing yoga pants today.  Yoga pants with holes. 

And a tank top.  With stains.

And tennis shoes.  With a hole BURNED into them.  (See the right shoe there?  Yeah, my pinky toe actually HANGS OUT the hole is so big. *sigh*)

And before you judge, please consider the following:

1) I was sick yesterday.
2) Because I poisoned myself.
3) With OTC Melatonin.
4) No, really
5) No really, I swear.
6) Today I had to homeschool my first grader.
7) It took him FORTY FIVE EARTH MINUTES to color this:

Yes.  I said 45 minutes.

8) That assignment was our first of the day.
9) It was a long day.
10) I also haven't showered today.
11) At least you can't smell me.

This One's Dedicated to Theresa



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I wear this dress at LEAST once per week.  In fact, I got into a weird routine of wearing it on Wednesdays - which is the day I always see my friend Theresa.  Which means that, for going-on 8 weeks my friend thought I owned ONE DRESS.

And she went 8 weeks before saying anything.  God bless her soul.

And now?  I intentionally wear it on Wednesdays just to get her goat. 

She'll be so glad to know I opted to wear this on a Monday (finally!), and by the end of the week I will have photographic evidence that I own SIX MORE OUTFITS.

She's never going to believe it.

Calling Don Draper

Day 2 of Fall Fashion Week:

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Brought to you by Kenneth Cole (shoes) and Target (dress).

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Emery's Fall Fashion Week!

Hooray!  It's time for another installment of Emery's Fashion Week!

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Well, "hooray" for me... because I get to spy on all of my bloggy friends and see what they're wearing.

Unfortunately for YOU, you have to look at MY outfits for an entire week. Which is going to get a little boring... because I'm not what you'd call 'hip' or 'cool' or 'trendy'. 

Cheap.  You could call me "cheap".  That's about it. 

Today Dave had meetings all day long (Yes! On a Saturday! BUMMER!), so neighbor Susan and her family adopted me and the kids for the day - we played at the park before lunch, and then they had us over for dinner (Pasta! Bread! CAKE!).  God bless my sweet neighbors - they made the time fly by.

Since I didn't have anywhere to go (or anyone to impress - poor Wade and Susan have seen me in my pajamas, sadly) - you're going to have to try not to judge my boring (BORING!) Saturday-night-at-the-neighbors outfit.

I also made Susan take my picture.  Is there NOTHING she will not do for me?

I *will* say that I am LOVING my new khaki skinnies from The Walmarts ($12.99, y'all!).  They're great with flats now, and they'll be perfect come fall with tall boots.