The (Play)Dating Scene

My brother is single.  Has been for 35 years.  Occasionally we'll be talking and he'll mention something about dating and then he'll say "you know how it is".And my response is always "Um, no.  No I do not".  Because I went on my first date with my husband EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO.

EIGHTEEN YEARS!  I think I just broke a hip TYPING THAT!

Anywhoo.  I realized today that, as far as boyfriend/girlfriend dating goes, I am indeed oblivious.  But in the mommy world, there is another (although not altogether different) kind of dating.

Playdating.

And I'm pretty good at playdating.  Why?  Because I've been "on the market" for seven years.  I can ask someone out with nary a nervous jitter.  I can hang with a new mom and her kids no problem.  I'm an old pro at 'first dates'.

Which is why today was a bit painful.

It all started two weeks ago at the park.  My husband and I had taken the children to the playground after dinner and by and by we struck up a conversation with a charming couple.  As we were chatting, their daughter (barely four) run up saying she'd asked Paige (my kid) over to spend the night "and she said YES!".

Which is adorable.  And also, NO.  Because, HELLO child you are FOUR and also you just met this (perhaps nice, but only THREE YEAR OLD) kid.

So the mother and I (after patting their heads and letting them down gently) exchanged phone numbers and promised both girls we would meet soon for a playdate.

Fast forward to today. We (me, William, Paige, The Other Mom, her daughter, her two year old boy) met at the zoo.

The first rattle out of the box she was late.  Not terribly (like 5 minutes), but she (very kindly) texted to say they were ALMOST THERE!  When she approached I could tell she was flustered.  Why? Because she'd just gotten a two and four-year-old out the door and to the zoo by 9:30am - WITH packed lunches, snacks, and sippy cups.  AND she was pushing a double stroller.

Meanwhile, I was standing there with a dollar in my pocket for a bottle of water and a bag of dried cherries.  No stroller.  No lunches.  Nothing.  Why? BECAUSE MY KIDS ARE OLD. 

Then her children (including her precious daughter who was the PICTURE of DELIGHTFUL at the park two weeks ago) proceeded to act terribly the entire day.  There were fits.  There was crying.  There was disrespect and unreasonable demands.  And there were more tantrums.  And then?  Her two year old ran away and/or tried to climb every fence we encountered.

God bless this poor mother, she was mortified.

And of course, OF COURSE my children were perfect.  Like, they never -  NEVER ONCE - forgot their manners.  They stayed right beside me.  They were calm and respectful.  They all but had halos and little harps.

And it was KILLING ME.  I kept WILLING one of them to be an asshole just so this mother would see that MY kids can be bad too!  Because they totally can be!  I swear!  I do not know who these robot pod-children ARE.

Here's the thing:  This mother handled each and every episode with her children with grace.  She never once lost her patience.  She corrected them each and every time they were naughty.  She disciplined perfectly.  Truly.  Perfectly.

At one point I put my arm around her and told her my kids have bad days too, but I don't think she believed me.  (Stupid angel children with their harps!)

I cannot TELL you how happy I was when Paige cried and stomped her feet when we had to leave.

As we were walking away, this mother said "I really hope you'll give us another chance!".

Bless her.  We totally will.

The dating scene can be so rough.