Codswallop*

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I had a long (cheerful! positive!) post written in my head about all of the good things that happened in 2011.  About our trip to Hawaii.  About finally finding the right school for my boy.  About a fun-filled summer at the pool.  About...

And then I ran out of things.  And stamina. 

Because the truth is: 2011 mostly sucked.  It just did.  Financially.  Spiritually.  Physically.  Emotionally.  Hell, even the weather sucked!  And there were EARTHQUAKES for crying out loud.  IN OKLAHOMA! 

See?   This year SUUUUCKED.  And I just can't bring myself to sing a song of praises for a year that my husband and I have agreed is our hardest yet. 

Yes.  Harder than the year my dad died.  And harder than the year my husband lost his job.  Seriously.  HARDER.

And do you know what mades this already shitty year even shittier?  EVERYONE ELSE IS HAVING A SHITTY YEAR TOO!

It seems that everyone I meet is bemoaning this horrible year.  It's everywhere!  The 2011 shitty-ness.

So tonight I plan on staying up until midnight (something I rarely do - because normally sleep is MUCH more important than some arbitrary number on a clock to me).  I plan to sing Aulde Lang Syne at the top of my lungs.  Who knows, I might even get drunk! (Ok, probably not, but I SHOULD.)

And then I might shower, just to be sure I've washed 2011 completely off of me.

Happy New Year everyone.  Here's to a MUCH BETTER 2012!



*Susan dared me to use 'codswallop' in a blog post.  After reading all seven Harry Potter books in the last 4 weeks, she is on a mission to bring clever Brittish words into the American vernacular.  Susan? You owe me $5. *wink* 

Loser

We've had family in town for the last couple of days.  Dave's younger brother (a thirty year old bachelor... know anyone cute? huh? huh?) and his older brother, along with his wife and three children. 

Having extra people around is not without its advantages.  For instance, on Wednesday I had to run to Target to pick up a few things and Dave's brother accompanied me.  It's rare for me to have an extra set of hands in the grocery store, and it was perfect that Brad was there when Paige announced that she needed to potty (ALWAYS! She always needs to potty at the most inopportune times.). I left William and my full cart of groceries with Brad while I ran into the ladies room with Paige.

Except.

My brain had some sort of short-circuit while I was in the ladies room, I really think I was so glad to have help that I let my mind go on some sort of vacation - because I realized on the way to the car that I didn't have my purse.  It took me a millisecond to put it together: my purse was hanging on the handy dandy hook in the bathroom stall.  And I got that feeling.  You know, where you feel the panic slide down your body like ice down to your toes.  Because: my purse(!) containing 1) the car keys 2) my iPhone and 3) my iPad.  Not to mention that fantastic lipstick shade that I'll never be able to replace.

plus? it's a brand new bag!

I have never run so fast in my life.  I'm certain all those people saw me sprinting to the bathroom and assumed I'd had one too many cups of eggnog.

But there it was! My purse!  Exactly where I'd left it.  I would have fallen to my knees right there and thanked Jesus had it not been for the fact that I was in a public restroom and, well, eeew.

On the way home (while hyperventillating) I told Brad that I'd been carrying a purse for something like 25 years and I'd never EVER left it behind.  EVER.  I don't know what got into me. 

And then today happened.

The entire group (ten of us) spent the day in downtown Oklahoma City. After playing at this nifty urban playground, we wandered around the gardens and gandered at the new skyscrapers, and finally ended up at the outdoor ice skating rink (they somehow cool the ice even though Oklahoma frequently has days like today where the December temperatures reach into the 70's - it's like magic!).  We all gathered along the edge of the rink and watched the skaters go by.  I was busy taking iPhone photos when it occurred to me that Paige wasn't in the shot.  I looked around where I'd last seen her and she was gone.

No one had seen her for a few minutes. 

This is one of the photos I took. Oh the irony.

I started calling her name.  Quietly at first, and then as more time passed my voice grew louder and more strained.  I looked behind me and saw all of the remaining 9 members of our group scattering around calling for her.

And here's what's weird: I did not panic.  I even thought at the time "wow, I am not panicking. I am totally calm".  Instead, I just started walking away from the group.  I was drawn magnetically back up the sidewalk where we'd come from.  As I rounded a corner a fair distance from the ice rink I saw her.  She was with another big family.  They were walking toward me and talking to her.  They clearly knew she was lost and were trying to help her find us.

She ran to me and started crying.  I thanked the nice family and returned to the skating rink.  We all agreed this was a good lesson for Paige.  She now knows what to do if she's lost: stay put and call for mommy. 

It's only now - hours later - that I think about the entire incident and sort of clench.  Catch my breath.  I'm thankful that, in the moment, I panicked MORE about the loss of a handbag than I did about my child.  It's rare that I've been so aware of an outside-of-me presence keeping me calm and in the moment.

I felt it today.




ps. When I asked Paige about it this evening, she said the nice family kept asking her what her mommy looks like and her reply was "she has big orange hair".  *Sigh*

The Cousins Are Here!

Recharge

I spoke to a friend this afternoon. When I asked how she was doing, she replied "I am a horrible, horrible person."  After I agreed (kidding!), I asked what had brought her to this lowly state.  She said she felt terrible because she has lovely, well-adjusted, pleasant in-laws, and yet, after four days of Christmas togetherness, she desired nothing more than being completely alone in her home.

My gosh I can relate.

A few years ago my Aunt Susie recommended a book called "The Introvert Advantage".  The book describes not only the personality traits of an introvert, but also the sort of things that invigorate and exhaust a person who is on the introvert side of the spectrum.  The book enlightened me to the fact that "introvert" does not automatically mean "shy".  In fact, "shyness" has nothing to do with it.  The main point I took away from the book is this: extroverts are energized by crowds and socializing, introverts are drained in those same settings.

Does this mean that introverts hate parties and crowds? Of course not! It's just that, after a time, introverts have to go away to a quiet place and re-charge. 

Which is exactly what was happening to my friend this morning..  She needed to recharge.  Even though her inlaws are fantastic.  Even though they are amazing house guests.

The topic of introverts came up again when I had the pleasure of meeting Laura from Hollywood Housewife over the weekend.  She comes from a large family, and we met in her childhood home.  We were surrounded by her siblings, her parents, and their NINE grandchildren.  The house was in utter chaos - kids running everywhere, adults perched on every chair and pouf and bench.  Toys strewn hither and thither.  It was a gloriously happy place to be.

And yet, when I asked Laura about it, she said that when she returns home to LA, it will take her a few days to sort of "recover" from all that happy chaos.  We both wondered out loud if most bloggers are like this.  Introverted. 

I myself have spent the day blissfully tidying the house while the children ran up and down the stairs retrieving toys and squealing with delight over their Christmas loot.  They were occupied, which meant I could recharge and settle back into my nest after a weekend full of family togetherness.

What about you?  Do you require a time of peace after the holidays?

I Won't Miss It

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In an effort to simplify our lives and save a little cash (ok, a LOT of cash), Dave and I have decided to cancel our cable television. Yes! Seriously!

We never have subscribed to premium channels like HBO, and yet our bill can sometimes reach $150. Whoa! 

We plan to order Netflix at around $15 per month, which should satisfy our occasional need to veg on the couch.

I honestly don't think we'll miss cable. Do you still watch television? Could you live without cable?

We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, Internet!

Hey! The baby feels better!

And? The weather today was beautiful (50 degrees and sunny!).

Plus? This evening I ate my mother's cooking surrounded by family. 

And now, the stockings are stuffed.  Packages wrapped.  Santa's cookies have been nibbled in the most convincing way.

I never knew having children would allow me to re-live that magical feeling of Christmas.  I don't know who's more excited about tomorrow, me, or them.

It's the "Most Wonderful" Time of the Year!

Ah Christmas.  Mistletoe.  Holly.  Chestnuts.  Open fires.

AND LAST MINUTE FRANTIC TRIPS TO THE PEDIATRICIAN.



poor baby

Argh.

So much for cleaning and packing and baking and wrapping.

Instead? I'll be rocking.  And patting.

And cursing.