Boys Don't Cry

Today I heard crying coming from the backyard. I was working upstairs, but thought to crack the window enough to monitor the kids. I took the stairs two at a time and approached the back door just as William was sprinting toward it. He ran along beside me explaining that Paige and he had bonked heads on the trampoline. By the time I wrestled her off and assessed her noggin, she was finished crying and asking for a snack.

"Good idea. Let's all go in for a snack", I said. But once inside, I realized William hadn't followed. I went back outside and found him looking grim. On the edge of tears. "You're sad you hurt sissy?" I asked. "Yes", he said.

This is not uncommon. He cannot stand it if he hurts her. In fact, in many instances his reaction to her pain is significantly worse than the actual pain, which results in me comforting them both simultaneously.

I told him sissy was fine. I reminded him that it was an accident. I told him to come in for a snack. He did. Then I went back upstairs trying to remember where I'd left off on my work project.

Twenty minutes passed, then William came upstairs. I turned to him intending to discuss our remaining homeschool work, but at the sight of him I stopped. He was still looking grim.

"What's wrong buddy?".

He collapsed into tears. He curled into a tiny ball on the floor and refused to he held or comforted. He was sad that he'd hurt his sister, and I was realizing he was also ashamed to be crying. He didn't want me to see him.

He's almost 8 years old. And someone somewhere told him that Boys Don't Cry.

I wondered if this would be he last time I'd see it. If he would save the rest of his tears for the middle of the night, or the privacy if the shower. Because boys our society are only allowed to show one emotion: anger.

I patted his back until he felt better. I kept Paige at bay knowing he didn't want to see her. I told him to snuggle down in his bed and read until he felt better.

And while he was reading, and Paige was busy with her snack, I snuck away to cry.

They didn't see me.