If You Can't Stand The Heat, Blog About It

Look, I realize that I live in Oklahoma.  And living in Oklahoma means that the month of August is going to be hot.  That's just how it is in Oklahoma.  Why complain?  It is what it is, right?

But this?  This heat we're experiencing?  Yeah.  It's beyond hot.  "Hot" and "Heat" don't cut it for a day like today. We need to invent a new word for it.  "Searing" doesn't seem bold enough.  Something like "devilwharf" or "sizzlesnoot" or "dragonbritches".  The heat here beckons an entirely new vocabulary. 

And in that vein, we also need a word that represents the emotional toll this Sizzlesnoot (I like that one best I think) takes on us.  Something like "hotsanity", and "hellicious".  Because, y'all? I'm starting to feel both angry (at the AIR, because THAT'S productive), and crazy. 

Today the actual air temperature (not the heat index, mind you) was 112 degrees. 

Let's pause here while you re-read that up there.  I said ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE ACTUAL DEGREES OF SIZZLESNOOTS.

My air conditioner has been running non-stop for ten straight days.  Non-stop.  All day.  All night.  It runs and runs and runs.  I worry about it.  How much more can it take before it waves a little white flag and surrenders?  And then what will I do?  I will die.  That's what.  I will burst into flames and die. 

And this concludes my Rant Against Nature. 

The End.

Ok, I'm not *quite* done with my rant.  Because, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS?  It's 9:30pm and it's STILL 100 degrees outside. 

Save me!