Winky McWinkypants

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Lately Paige has developed a proclivity for closing just one eye.  She's constantly winking.  She'll just be talking to  you and she's closing one eye.  This alarmed me.  So much so, that my Worried Mommy Brain started to suspect that she had some serious vision issues. 

I reasoned that I had instances on both sides of my family where various uncles and aunts have one strong eye and one weak eye.  I felt sure that Paige was favoring her strong eye, and choosing to close the weak one. 

My diagnostic skillz! I am SUCH a good doctor! (Especially considering I've never been to medical school!).

I asked around and got a recommendation for a good pediatric eye doctor.  An actual doctor (unlike me: I only play a doctor on the Internet).  When I called to make the appointment, they were very clear that I would need to pay UP FRONT for this exam. That insurance does NOT cover routine eye exams on three year olds.

$105.  Yikes.

But it was worth it!  Because mah baybee was most surely GOING BLIND.  In only one eye.  But still.

I spent moments day-dreaming about what Paige would look like with glasses.  Wondering if she could possibly keep them clean, and more importantly, keep from breaking them.  And then I began to fear that she'd have to wear an eye patch over her good eye to help the other eye get stronger - like a pirate.  My own little Jack Sparrow in drag.

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We arrived for our appointment today and Paige sat quietly while the nurse tested first one eye, and then the next.  Paige dutifully described the tiny pictures on the screen, never getting one wrong.

Then the nurse DILATED her wee eyes.  I did not expect this for a three year old.  But Paige took it like a champ.  She never cried.  And she seemed only slightly irked that someone had forced drops of sting-y liquid in her peepers.  The nurse was so impressed she gave her chocolate.

Then the doctor came in and looked at Paige with various NASA-looking instruments.  All the while saying what a nice, sweet girl Paige was.  He never gave any indication of what he was seeing in her eyes.

Finally, he turned to me and I braced myself for the news.  With a very grave voice he said "Her eyes are perfect.  I believe the winking is caused by something we like to call WEIRDNESS".

Huh.  Weirdness runs in my family too.

I suppose I should have thought of that.  I would have saved myself $105.

*Sigh*