Dear Santa

William sat down this afternoon to write his letter to Santa.

Dear Santa, please bring me the world.

Dave and I stood nearby and tried to Act Casual.

We paced the floor and gave each other worried looks. We wrung our hands. And we ground our teeth to dust.

When William finally (FINALLY) finished his list and handed it over we read it in a terrified frenzy.

Is there anything cuter than 5-year-old handwriting?

.

Oh thank God!

.

He asked for Actual Toys! Toys that have been mass-produced! Toys that are available in stores nationwide!

And we were so relieved. We were relieved because this year will not be a repeat of last year. Because last year William asked for Frank.

Oh, you don't know Frank?

Well, silly Internet, Frank is a combine. You know, a combine. A piece of farming equipment. And Frank the Combine is featured EVERY SO BRIEFLY in the Disney movie 'Cars'.

And last Christmas my little 4-year-old boy wanted nothing in the world more than a toy Frank. He longed for Frank to plow imaginary fields and protect an imaginary herd of tractors that behave exactly like cattle.

It's a complicated plot. Just trust me on this one.

When William started asking for Frank, we gently explained that Disney did not make a die-cast replica of this particular toy. And do you want to guess what William said? Do ya?

"But Santa can make ANYTHING in his workshop".

And when he said those words, Dave and I responded with silence. And a bunch of blinking. And more silence.

And William walked away from that conversation believing that Santa would be bringing him a Frank.

AND HIS PARENTS DID NOT CORRECT HIM!

Because: We. Are. STOOOOOPID!

The following weeks involved Dave searching Ebay, Criagslist, EVERYWHERE for a dang combine that might pass for Frank.

Finally, just days before Christmas Dave found this:

Someone on Ebay was smart enough to buy up a bunch of die-cast combines, then HAND PAINT Frank's face on the front. Admittedly, this was not a perfect replica, but it was close. Really close.

And our Ebay friend was charging A Small Fortune.

Do you want to guess what we did? We, the parents of a hopeful 4-year-old.

We bought it.

Oh we did. And we were thrilled to pay The Small Fortune.

Christmas day arrived and Frank was positioned on the hearth. We were positioned nearby so that we could see William's little face when he received this toy.

He ran in the room.

He ran right past Frank and began to dig through his stocking.

But wait, little buddy, look there at what Santa brought you!

He looked down at the FIFTY DOLLAR toy.

And he calmly said "That's not Frank".

Which is why we're really happy he asked for Legos this year.