Monday, December 21, 2009

Puppies Are Supposed to Make Everything Better

Oh Internet, today was a slog. A whip. A beating.

Well, that's not entirely true. I did eat lunch with Aunt Susie. That's always good.

Oh! And then I visited my friend Alissa.

And my friend Alissa has THIS:
Is there anything cuter?

OMG. A puppy! And who can have a bad day when there are puppies?
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Me. That's who.
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Gracious, my heart was hurting today. I woke up worrying. Worrying about our family. Our future. Just everything.
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You see, I've always had a clear dream for my life. I've always known what I wanted. I've always been able to close my eyes and see clearly where we're headed as a family. I've always had a plan. And not just A plan, but several plans. Plans A and B. And C. And EFGH.
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Well, you get the idea.
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Dave's job loss has changed everything. Ev. Ree. Thing.
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Mostly, I feel differently about money. Having an emergency savings account is coming in really handy for us right now. But, I'm left wondering WHY I needed such a nest egg. Was I THAT afraid this might happen? Am I THAT afraid of everything?
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Yes. The answer is yes.
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And operating out of fear can't possibly be good. Even if the end result is a nice emergency fund.
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What else have I been doing out of fear?
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Or, more importantly, what have I NOT done because I was too afraid?
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Is this the lesson I'm supposed to be learning from all this?
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And if so, can we move on now, God? Because, I hear you - now please FIX THIS so I won't be skeerd anymore.
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Oh wait. I'm still skeerd.
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I guess I haven't learned enough yet.

1 comment:

  1. "But the more we persist in faith, obeying God and opening our hearts to His love, the weaker fear becomes."

    -Joanna Weaver, "Having a Mary Spirit"

    p.s. fear and prepared are two different things!

    Chin up my friend.

    ReplyDelete