Two. Only Two.

Listen, dear Internet, I've been a mommy for 5 years now. A mommy of a boy child. And I've answered lots of questions about **ahem** body parts. And I've heard all sorts of stories.

Like, the girl in William's Gymboree class who glanced at her daddy in the shower and accused him of having a tail.

And there was my friend's son who told her - after seeing her on the potty - that he was sorry she only had a medium-sized penis. (Don't you just know she got out the old hand mirror and tried to see what the heck was MEDIUM about it?)

All this to say, I've heard the stories, and I've had a few silly/funny body-part conversations with William myself. And I must say, I've handled them with grace and dignity. No really! I have!

Oh dear. But nothing could prepare me for tonight.

And before I share about tonight, I would like the Internet to know that, during the entirety of the conversation I'm about to divulge, I did not at any time smile, grin, chuckle, or snicker.

Prepare to be impressed.

This story takes place just before bathtime. The baby is clean, and it's William's turn for his scrubbing. Just prior to bathing, it is our preference that William Go PeePee. We've done this every single night before bath for the last, oh, three years.

And this, dear Internet, is the conversation had between myself (The Momma) and my five year old boy (William):

William (while peeing): Momma! There are two little balls under my peepee!

Momma: Well sure there are honey. All boys have those.

William: All boys have these? **pause** What about girls?

Momma: Nope. Only boys get those.

William: What about daddy? Does he have these rubber balls on his peepee?

Momma: (STILL NOT SMILING) Yep. He sure does. God gave all the boys those.

William: How many does daddy have?

Momma: Two. Just like you.

William: No momma, I've seen that thing - daddy's got at least four down there.

And I've waited until just now to laugh hysterically.

Thank you, Internet. I feel cleansed.