I Have a "Special" Purple File Now

This morning Paige woke up as usual and proceeded to the potty where she removed her (dry) diaper, and then, you know, did her thing in the bathroom.  Afterward, she ran (naked) into her bedroom to pick out a pair of panties.  This is our everyday routine.  The peeing and the nakedness and the panty-picking.

While she's doing all that, I stand in her closet and choose her outfit for the day.  This works out great.  By the time she is clad in her drawers, I'm standing by to dress her the rest of the way.

Today was no different.  At least until we were halfway down the stairs.  That's when she stopped in mid-step, grabbed her crotch with both hands and began SCHUREEEMING and stomping her feet.  She was clearly in terrible pain and kept exclaiming that her "bottom" (actually her "front bottom") hurt.  I scooped her up and brought her downstairs where I removed her pants and examined her, um, "bottom regions".  I found nothing wrong.  Absolutely nothing. 

I re-dressed her and she hopped up and ran off to play acting as if nothing had happened.   Dave and I exchanged a look, then he said "don't look at ME, *that* area is YOUR responsibility".  He's always been a bit squeamish about dealing with Paige's GIRL area. 

I continued on with my morning routine, but right before it was time to leave for school, Paige did it again.  All of it, the screaming, the stomping, the grabbing of the crotch.  But this time she wouldn't stop.  She was inconsolable. 

I decided to call the pediatrician.  The triage nurse asked questions that led me to believe she suspected a bladder infection.  She asked about frequent urination.  Crying during urination? Fever?  No on all fronts.  Paige seemed perfectly fine except for these weird outbursts.

Of course the nurse scheduled us to come in at 10am.  She was perplexed.

About an hour before we were supposed to leave for the doctor, it occurred to me that Paige might be reacting to some irritant in her panties.  I decided to switch to a different pair and see if the symptoms continued.

Sure enough.  She was CURED!

Turns out there was a tiny little thorn-y thingy in her panties that would poke her in her Most Sensitive Region when she'd move a certain way.

Which meant that I had to call the pediatrician's office and explain that my daughter was, in fact, NOT suffering from a severe infection.  Just a little 'ol sticker in her panties.

The receptionist OPENLY LAUGHED at me.

I have a feeling they have a special color-coded filing system at their office for people like me.  I wonder what color they use for Wacko Overreacting Nut Jobs.  Purple probably.  That seems right.