Worry Avenged

My kid had a substitute teacher on Friday.  A man who is a retired high school math teacher.  Now he substitutes occasionally.  I've met him before when he substituted for another teacher in the school.  He seemed likable enough.

But, for some reason, my kid doesn't like him.  I mean he *really* doesn't like him.  He cried several times in class on Friday (my kid hardly EVER cries), and apparently the substitute teacher had quite enough of the crying, so he put my kid in the Naughty Corner.  My kid has *never* been put in the Naughty Corner.  So guess what?  He cried even HARDER.  Vicious cycle.

William came home from school on Friday distraught.  He kept saying that the teacher "scared him".  Hmmm.  I reasoned that this teacher is a male.  A tall one.  With a big, deep booming voice.  My kid doesn't really care for loud noises.  So that must be it, right?  Yes.  That's all it was.

And here's where it gets hard: the substitute was slated to return on Monday.  So, all weekend my kid begged (I mean BEGGED) to stay home from school on Monday.  He'd bring it up at the most random moments.  During church.  At a professional basketball game.  "Momma, please can I stay home on Monday?". 

I fretted about sending him.  Obviously there was *something* that frightened my kid.  But what?  He couldn't articulate what was so scary.  And this is where dealing with my boy is frustrating.  All of his stories are riddled with gaps that I must try to fill in using, I don't know, logic? Magic?  I end up asking eight million questions of him so that I can piece together a story.  He just doesn't communicate in a way that paints a vivid and clear picture.

So I sent him to school on Monday.  I reasoned that I could not set the precedent that every time we're a little scared, momma will rescue us.  However, I promised I would speak to the teacher about William's fears.  The teacher said William cried several times during class on Monday.  He said he even went so far as to ask William if he was feeling well.  He assured me they'd do just fine.  That he'd keep a special eye on Will for me.

And then I left my little 6 year old boy there, all tear-y eyed and scared.

And then?  I went home and paced the floor and ground my teeth to dust.

I went back at lunchtime (I had promised William I would).  He said he was doing alright, but then immediately started begging for me to take him home. 

I stayed until after recess, making sure that William was settled in class (and, if I'm being honest, I wanted that teacher to see me there - me: The Involved Mom, the Mom Who's Watching You, Mister).

William returned from school saying his day was better.  He said he hadn't cried at all. 

Ahhh.  Sigh of relief.  It was all just some big misunderstanding.  Some quirk with my kid.  My kid who's bothered by all sorts of things that don't seem to bother other children. 

Yes.  I'm sure it was nothing.

Except.  This morning, I walked William into class to discover FOUR other parents gathered around William's regular teacher.  Alarmingly, they were all parents of BOYS, and they were telling the teacher how SCARED their children were.  They said their children BEGGED not to be sent to school on Monday.  One parent even said the substitute rolled up a newspaper and whacked a her kid with it.

Oh my GOSH!  It wasn't just my kid!  *Other* kids were scared too!

You can imagine my guilt.  I should have trusted  my kid.  I should have put more stock in the "signs".  He never cries.  He loves school.  He rarely says things "scare" him.

Lesson learned, I suppose.

Man, this parenting thing is *hard*.



ps. I should add that we parents marched ourselves to the principal and explained the situation.  We're hoping this particular substitute will not be invited back to our school.