Dolphin or Dead Person - You Pick

Today was a much-anticipated day for me.

Today, I got a new driver's license. I was so excited about this. You see, I've been living with a very bad driver's license picture for years.

I know, you're saying, 'oh Rita, how bad can it be?'. Heh. Lookie here:

This is my old DL picture. Do you see my forehead? Do you see that it resembles that of a dolphin? A dolphin with a receding hairline.

How does the DMV do this? I did NOT look like a porpoise when I entered the tag agency that day. I swear I didn't. I don't even LIKE fish. Why would I want to impersonate one?

Also, take a look at my weight. It says I weigh 120 lbs. And I DO... I swear I do. ON THE MOON. But here on earth, I weigh just a teeny tiny bit more. Yes, I've put on a few pounds since 1990. Which is the last time I updated my weight.

So today, while the kids were in Mother's Day Out, I decided to get my license renewed. I was having a good hair day. And, honestly, isn't that really what matters?

Yeah folks, I don't wanna brag, but I was lookin' goooooood.

Yet, THIS is what the devils at the DMV did to me today:
Wha?!? It is SO BAD. I am crushed! Another bad picture? Nooooooooo! My makeup looks like a mortician applied it. And what's with the white circles under my eyes? And I swear to you my face is not nearly as round as it looks in this picture.

I had such high hopes. I believed in my heart that this time it would be different. Ah, DMV. Why do you hurt me so?

I would, however, like to point out my weight on the new ID. Yes! I increased it by 15 lbs. AND IT'S STILL A LIE.

But not as big of a lie, so that's better, right?