I Hate Exercise and I Have the Thighs to Prove It

So, a week ago, Neighbor Susan says she's ordered a new exercise video. This video, she claims, transformed a fellow blogger from Flab to Fab in mere weeks. Neighbor Susan even emailed before and after pictures. I must admit, the results were impressive.

Susan said "join me". I wanted to say "hell no!", but I looked down at my thighs and said "yes".

So, I ordered the damn video. It was $9 on Amazon. The way I see it, that's $9 I cannot spend on pizza or nachos. So even if the video doesn't work, I've still come out ahead, no?

My friends at Amazon delivered Jillian Michaels today. Just look at her.


Don't you want to punch her right in the gut? Oh wait, that might hurt your hand. Never mind.

I emailed Susan telling her Jillian was here. She said "Next week! We're going to get all hott and shredded."

Then she said "God help us."

Indeed.

I might have told her the only thing I want shredded is cheese. I might have also uttered a few expletives. Maybe.
.
Then, I gave myself a big lecture about Getting Older and Needing to Exercise.

Then I went and ate a cookie. Or six.

By the time Dave walked in from work, I was spiraling down from a MegaSugar High. And I might have been a touch cranky about the whole exercising thing. I wanted skinny thighs and all, but shredding? Sounds sort of hard. And painful. And hard.

Fortunately, my wee little family pulled me right out of my Pre-Shred Pout.

First, William expelled the most impressive-sounding gas at the dinner table.

He said, repeatedly, "that sounded like I did it with my mouth!"

I was overcome with pride and emotion.

Then I spied David doing the dishes. Let me say it again, girls, he was doing the dishes.

It was such a romantic scene. My heart was all aflutter.

Then, as if I needed another reason to smile, the baby decided to dance.


If you can watch this video without smiling, check your temperature, you might be coming down with something:

Now THIS is the kind of video I wanted to see today.

Take that Jillian Michaels.